Confession: I'm not scared.
Every now and then, a small part of me will stop, and ponder, but even then, I'm not really pondering how I should be scared. I'm actually taking note that... I'm not. At all. *At alllllllll...* And that I attribute to God, because worrier or not - logical or not... I think just about anybody would look at a one or two sentence summary of this whole thing and laugh.
The ridiculousness of this entire endeavor only lends itself more to my firm, unwavering, unshakeable belief that God's hand is pushing this along. I think it, I feel it, I believe it, I know it... completely certain, completely sold. God is propelling it along. Fast. It is ALL God, all of the time, down to every last blessing, every last penny... and every last trial and tribulation that He may not be a fan of, but allows to happen anyway... it's all a big blessing, with some soon-to-be-seen or possibly never-seen but still equally awesome way that is bringing glory to God's name. It is always God.
It is God who fights our battles for us. (for example, Psalm 60:12, 1 Samuel 17:47)
It is God who bears our burdens. (for example, Psalm 68:19-20)
It is God who builds His house. (for example, Psalm 127)
It is God. (for example, Genesis 1 - Revelation 22)
While I wouldn't say, exactly, that we're church planting on steroids, we are church planting on God. And, whether God chooses to move slowly, or at a lightning speed, and whether He blesses with 160 thousand dollars, or 16 thousand dollars, or 16 cents, the important part is that God is the one in the driver's seat. He is in control. He has much more wisdom than us. He is able. This is why it is so important for us to stay clinging to Him.
So, here's just a long thought, encouraging us all to stay in God's presence and cry out to Him.
I love Psalm 3. Love it. Here's a portion of it: (verses 1-4)
"O LORD, how many are my foes! Many are rising against me; many are saying of my soul, there is no salvation for him in God. But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the LORD and he answered me from his holy hill."
A week or so ago, I felt really burdened for a few different things and even took a little early morning prayer drive after my coffee run - when the Lord burdens you, he burdens you. Whattcha gonna do? ;) Obey, of course!
Long, awesome story later, I will just say this. I think God is wanting to grow my (your?) prayer ENDURANCE.
I have been noticing God answering all these *smaller* prayer requests. BIG answers to prayer, but compared to $160,000, or a cure for cancer, they're on the smaller scale. Yet, I think it's very important to notice and appreciate the small answers to prayer. (Matthew 6:26) God takes care of the birds - why do we worry He won't take care of us? Kind of along the same lines - God takes care of a broken refrigerator, pink eye, opening a stuck window... He bothers with those prayers, how much more will He bother with the bigger prayers?
When I was praying for a blessing for my friends, a broken refrigerator wasn't what I had in mind. If you must know, I am absolutely certain God let my friends' refrigerator break, so that He could bless them. Reassure them that He is there, He is holding them in the palm of His hand, and that they are EXACTLY where they are supposed to be - in God's will. ["Christ never uttered a hopeless word. In the Father's will there are no hopeless words." PF Bresee] And not only did He bless them, but by answering my prayer, He blessed me. And when Kim gave her testimony Sunday night, I think He blessed all of us.
And, if you must know, because God is good and I'll swallow my pride (think I'm crazy, go ahead!) - I am absolutely convinced that a month ago I had pink eye when I woke up in the middle of the night. Now, pink eye = not cancer. But for whatever reason/reasons this sent me into a panic as "the straw that would break the camel's back" and I prayed that God would just take care of it. And, He did.
And, again, silly, but here we go: a few days ago, before it got to be a sweltering 103 degrees, we had nice weather. I tried to open my bedroom window to get a cool breeze and I couldn't. It was stuck. Really stuck. And I don't have anyone to help me open it. And I tried and tried, and just as I was asking God to open my window because I couldn't, and I just didn't need to deal with a beligerent window on top of other things, IT OPENED. I'm seeing God answer my prayers, little prayers, all the time. Now, the "me" even from a few months ago would go, "No, your window just wasn't as stuck as you thought it was" or "It wasn't contagious pink eye" but the me in the very recent is just so certain of God's nearness and His answer to prayer.
What is an answer to prayer if not reassurance of His nearness?
I think God is just showing His great love. All of the time. Answers to "small" prayers are BIG. He has a wonderful character. Need a good place to learn about God's character? Psalm 103 says a lot about the character of God. Though you pretty much can't go wrong anywhere in the Bible.
This Sunday will be week 11 until launch. Keep close to God, and cry out to Him. "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!" Psalm 115:1
Love,
Celia
(who now has internet, and had a long nap this afternoon, hence, it's almost 11pm and I'm here)
Thanks so much for writing this! I absolutely loved it! It describes so much of what I was feeling when God led me back home last year. The odds all seemed against me....I had no plan....no resources....no possible way of making anything happen, yet I KNEW God was telling me to go for it. It was so out of character for me to have no fear, no worry, no hesitation. In fact, when people asked how I was going to move home, find someone to take over my apartment, get the money to move, get a new job, and completely uproot myself from the new town I was just getting comfortable in, my answer to them was "I don't know, but God will provide." He did just that! Within a month I had found a new job, found a person to take my apartment, and through the kindness of others had just enough money to make it back home....the home and place God wanted me to be. Though I don't today know the EXACT reason for him sending me back, I know it was the right thing. I felt it in my heart throughout the entire process and it wasn't me making it happen but God himself.
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for all you guys are doing! I wish I was there to be more a part of this new amazing church, and I definitely miss the feeling I had while there. The people I met completely changed my life, and I will forever love them! Good luck and hope all goes great! You will all be in my prayers and I know God will bless you!
Briana
2 Corinthians 9 (NIV)
ReplyDeleteThere is no need for me to write to you about this service to the Lord’s people. For I know your eagerness to help, and I have been boasting about it to the Macedonians, telling them that since last year you in Achaia were ready to give; and your enthusiasm has stirred most of them to action. But I am sending the brothers in order that our boasting about you in this matter should not prove hollow, but that you may be ready, as I said you would be. For if any Macedonians come with me and find you unprepared, we—not to say anything about you—would be ashamed of having been so confident. So I thought it necessary to urge the brothers to visit you in advance and finish the arrangements for the generous gift you had promised. Then it will be ready as a generous gift, not as one grudgingly given.
Generosity Encouraged
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9 As it is written:
“They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;
their righteousness endures forever.”
Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13 Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you.
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!