Can you believe that you and your family are sitting down to your twelfth discussion about gentleness in this amazing series, “Gentle in Our Time”? We’ve been able to cover a lot of areas about how our families can be a gentle force in our communities. I know God’s been moving in great ways through you all.
Today, we’re going to shift gears a little and focus exclusively on gentleness in our homes. (Yikes!) There are a lot of wonderful adjectives I could use to describe my home—loving, silly, crazy—but I’m not sure gentle is one of them.
In this week’s passage in Ephesians, Paul shines a spotlight on the most prominent relationships we have, including parents and children. Have someone read Ephesians 6:1-4.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (ESV)
So there it is: God’s plan for your family. Paul’s written your job descriptions just about as simply as he possibly could.
Kids—Obey and honor. Do what your parents say and treat them with loving respect. I hope you don’t do it just because “the Bible tells you so.” I hope you believe, like Paul does, that it’s the right thing to do. The cool part of your responsibilities is that they come with a bonus: a promise! Your obedience and honor leads to blessings. It will “go well with you”—sweet!
Ok, ‘rents, now it’s your turn—Raise your kids with Jesus. Teach them how to lead holy, God-honoring lives, to be disciples. That will require discipline at times, discipline for you (it’s a tough job) and discipline from you (they are kids, after all). But be careful with that discipline. Don’t go over the edge, because that can have some long-lasting repercussions. Think “gentleness.”
So that’s the standard, the goal we’re aiming for. If we fill our roles well, we will likely have a happy, gentle home. Parents will lead their children, children will obey and honor what’s being taught, parents won’t lecture just for fun. It sounds like a wonderful environment for peace and gentleness to blossom.
But how’s it really going? This may be what we’re striving for, but if your family is anything like mine, ya ain’t there yet. If we’re serious about reaching this point, however, we need to figure out where we’re at and identify some things we can do to be better. Take some time right now to have an honest conversation around the table. (If now isn’t a good time, schedule when this conversation will take place.) Be honest with each other, but remember to also be gentle.
Kids, give one or two ways mom and dad can be more like the parents Paul writes about in these verses. Parents, give one or two ways your kids could be more obedient or respectful. Try and be specific. This is not the time to pull out your list of every mistake your kids or your parents are making. The goal is to help our families become more gentle, so let’s practice that even while we’re trying to improve it.
After you’ve each had a chance to share, be sure to pray about what you heard. This could be the Holy Spirit talking to you! How can you respond to this information in a way that will help you be a better parent, son or daughter?
End your time together by rereading the passage and personalize it.
Kids (read in unison): Mom and Dad, I/we want to obey you in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor my/our father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with me/us and that I/we may live long in the land.”
Parents (read in unison): Kid/s, I/we will not provoke you to anger, but bring you up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
All (in unison): God, help us as we strive to be the family you want us to be. Help us to be gentle in our home, so that we may also be gentle in your world. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
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